


Feelings

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-13
Updated: 2002-02-13
Packaged: 2019-05-30 19:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15103724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh realizes he has feelings for Donna





	1. Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Fic: Feelings

Author: Paula / 

Synopsys: Josh realizes he has feelings for Donna

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.Unfortunately.They are property of Aaron Sorkin and Warner Bros co.It's not my intention to make money with them.I'm not as talent as Aaron to create such wonderful characters, so I have to borrow them.

Thanks: To everyone who is reading.And a very special thanks to Rachel Hanson.She helped me a lot correcting my spelling mistakes and gave me so much support.

Lyrics are from the song 'Smoke gets in your eyes', composed by O.Hammerstein/J.Kem

Notes: If anyone wants to archive it, that's okay.Feedbacks are welcome.Let me know your opinion.Tell me if I've done anything wrong.It's really important to try to improve it in the future.As a non-native speaker, forgive me for my limited knowledge of English language.I tried to do my best.I hope you enjoy it!

Paula

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"They asked me how I knew my true love was true,  
I of course replied, something here inside cannot be denied.  
They said someday you'll find all who love are blind,  
When your heart's on fire, you must realize, Smoke gets in your  
eyes''

Feelings

 

Part 1/?

Monday, 10:34a.m.

Sam's office

Josh knocks on the door. Sam asks him to come in.

Josh: - Hi. Do you have a minute?

Sam: - Sure. Any problem with the Bill assignment?

Josh: - No. It's nothing related to work. But I can come back another time if you're busy.

Sam: - No. Tell me what's on your mind.

Josh: - It's not a big deal. (Josh starts without looking at Sam) Last Friday, Donna asked me if she could leave early. I said there was no problem, but I asked why.if only I had asked before...Anyway, she said she had a date with a guy named Rick. That night I saw when the guy came to pick her up. (He gets up from the chair and starts to walk through the room) I didn't like his face. He looked like those jerks who plans to seduce women into a one night stand and never call after that. During the weekend, it was hard to resist the urge to call her and ask about Friday night, but I waited until this morning. Now, she is angry with me because she said I smiled when she told she would not go out with him anymore. (He sits down again) I didn't smile, Sam. I...I was just relieved because something inside told me he was not "the one" for her.

Sam looks at him serious.

\- Well...I don't know if this is the best time to tell you this, Josh, but I have a theory. I've been thinking about this issue for a while and I have formulated a theory.

\- Theory? About what?

Sam say it very slowly, afraid of Josh's reaction.

\- It's about you and your feelings for Donna...beyond friendship.

\- ( Josh looks surprised with Sam's comment ) What? Are you insane? I don't have feelings for Donna. ( Josh starts to stammer ) This...This... theory is completely... wrong. ( Josh gets up from the chair again ) Okay, I think she is a great woman, very professional, a good friend, and she is witty and even beautiful. I respect her and I have a lot of trust in her. But I definitely don't have any feelings for her beyond that.

\- Okay. If you say so...

\- I'm not just saying it. I mean it. ( He starts to stammer again ) I ...don't...don't...have... feelings for her. I'm her boss and she is my assistant. We have a professional relationship and nothing more. I care for her as I would care for any other friend. It's an absurd theory.... I shouldn't have come here.... I have work to do.

\- Okay

Josh leaves Sam's office.

*************

Monday, 7:15p.m.

CJ's office

Josh: - Can I come in?

CJ: - You're already in, in case you haven't noticed.

\- Are you busy?

\- No. What do you want?

\- It's nothing serious. I just wanted to talk with someone about an issue that's been bothering me all day.

\- What issue?

\- Sam has a theory about me. I assured him he was wrong and called him insane. But since then I've been pondering it and right now I'm really confused, because...

At this moment, the phone rings. CJ answers and hangs up a few seconds later.

\- So, What's this theory about?

\- ( Josh takes a deep breath before answering ) Sam believes I have feelings for Donna. Beyond friendship...and I'm really afraid he may be... right. ( He turns down his head, avoiding looking at CJ's eyes )

CJ burst out laughing. Josh looks at her, bewildered, trying to understand what she is laughing about.

\- I know it's weird and unexpected. I'm surprised too. But it's definitely not funny, CJ.

\- Sorry, Josh. ( She says, still laughing ). I just thought it would take you a few more years to realize that, and even more time to admit to it.

\- Realize and admit what? What are you talking about?

\- Realize and admit you have feelings for Donna. I mean, everyone could see that except you and Donna. I can't believe you've finally figured it out. (She grabs his hands to shake it, with a smile on her face. He pulls his hand away from hers)

\- Are you telling me that everybody thinks I have those...special feelings for her? It's creepy.

\- No, Josh. No one thinks ( she emphasizes ' thinks' ) you're in love with Donna. Everybody is pretty sure about that.

\- ( Josh gets up from his chair looking even more confused and starts to pace in the room ) Oh, boy...I didn't know my love life was that interesting to everyone spend time talking about it. And on my back! Okay, I have to admit I spend most of the time denying it to myself. But when I see her...when she smiles...I don't know...I lose the control over my feelings...it's like nothing else matters...( He sit down again ) CJ, what should I do?

\- Josh, I can't tell you what you to do. It's up to you. Why are you asking me for advice? You keep saying I push every man away from me. Why don't you ask Sam?

\- CJ, I don't want to ruin my relationship with her. She is very important to me and I don't want lose what we have now. ( Josh sounds a bit desperate )

\- You will ruin everything if you keep it quiet. Sooner or later you will have to tell her about your feelings toward her.

\- But I can't tell her everything right now. It would scare her to death and things would become very uncomfortable between us.

\- Okay, you're right...Well, ask her out and make her fall in love with you.

\- It's not that simple.

\- Yeah, but you can pull it off. Sorry, Josh, but I have a press conference in ten minutes and right now I don't have time to teach you how to get a girl.

\- Okay...Sorry for bothering you. You don't need to snap at me.

When he is almost closing the door, she says:

\- You know her well and you like her a lot. You'll do fine.

\- Thanks, CJ.

**************

Monday, 7:56p.m.

Josh's office

From his desk, Josh sees Donna preparing to leave. He calls her on the phone, speaking in a very normal tone.

-Donna, can I see you before you leave?

Two minutes later, She comes to his office.

\- I'm going home. Do you need something?

\- Yes. I want to apologize about my behavior earlier this morning. I deeply regret things didn't work out right for you and that guy.

\- His name is Rick. And you don't regret it, Josh. You're saying that just to make yourself feel better. But I accept your apology.

\- Okay...anyway. He wasn't "the one" for you.

\- You don't know him, Josh. How can you judge if he is or not 'the one' for me?

\- Well...If he were the right one, you'd probably date him again.

\- Fair point.

\- You're a great woman, Donna. You deserve someone better than those idiots you date.

\- That's enough, Josh. I'm leaving. See you tomorrow.

\- Okay. Bye.

**************

TBC

 

 

 

 


	2. Feelings 2

Author: Paula 

Synopsys: Josh realizes he has feelings for Donna

Disclaimer, notes and thanks: see part 1

Lyrics from the song 'Feels like Home', written by Randy Newman

Paula

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

''If you knew how I wanted someone to  
come along  
And change my life the way you've done''

Feelings

 

Part 2

Tuesday morning, 9:47 a.m.

Communication department.

Josh meets Sam in the hall.

Sam: - Busy schedule today?

Josh: - Only in the afternoon. You?

\- Toby and I have a meeting with the Treasury secretary in an hour and I still don't know what is this meeting about.

\- Before you go, can I talk to you in your office?

\- Sure. What's up?

Josh closes the door.

\- It's about that talk we had yesterday. That theory talk...I've been having second thoughts about what I said, and there's a remote possibility your theory might be right.

\- Remote possibility?

\- Well, not that remote. In fact, it's a quite strong possibility.

\- So, let me see if I got it. There's a possibility that you have feelings for Donna beyond friendship.

\- Yes...I'm not a hundred percent sure about that...but I may have feelings for her...Donna.

\- And do you have any idea of what you going to do about that?

\- No.

\- So I presume you came here to ask me for advice?

\- Yes...

\- Oh, God...can we talk about it later? The meeting is going to start soon; I have to go find Toby.

\- Okay. Have a good meeting.

\- Thanks.

*************

Wednesday, 3: 45 p.m.

Josh meets Charlie in the hall.

Josh: - Hi, Charlie.

Charlie: - Hey, Josh. I haven't seen you lately, I think since Monday.

\- Yeah. I've been busy with some stuff. Are you free tonight?

\- I think so. Zoey is studying for exams and my sister is camping with her school's friends. Why? Poker night?

\- No. Can we go out for a beer or something? I need to talk with someone and you owe me.

\- I owe you? Look, if it's money, you will have to wait 'till next week.

\- No, it's not money. Forget about it. I just need to talk with someone. Are you free? I pay for the beer.

\- Okay. Find me at 8:00, but why don't you talk to Sam?

\- Charlie, I want to talk to you. Is there a problem? And Sam let it clear he didn't want to help me. So, I pick you here at 8:00?

\- Sure. See you.

**************

Wednesday, 8:36p.m.

In a bar.

Josh: (To the waiter)

-Two beers. And bring some peanuts.

Charlie: - So, what you want to talk to me?

Josh takes a deep breath.

\- Do you remember when you offered me some help with Joey as a recompense for helping you with Zoey?

\- Yeah. But you understand that she flew back to California. I think it's too late.

\- It's not Joey. It's another girl. I've known her for a couple of years and recently I figured out I may have feelings for her beyond friendship. And I don't know what to do. I like her a lot and I'm afraid of doing anything wrong.

Charlie keeps silent.

\- Okay. This woman...that I'm talking about...is Donna.

Charlie is surprised by Josh's confession.

\- Donna? Your assistant? You've fallen in love with your own assistant? Man, I can't believe...

\- Well, so you're the only one. It seems everyone else were pretty sure it would happens sooner or later.

\- I mean, it's not a crazy idea. Donna is a good-looking woman and you get along pretty well with each other.

\- The problem is I don't think she likes me. Well...not in the same way I like her. I don't want to sound desperate, Charlie. But please help me.

\- Okay. What kind of help do you need?

\- It would be nice if you could tell me what to do.

\- I can't tell you that. You have to follow your heart, Josh. My only advice is try go not too fast.

\- Do you think I should ask her on a date?

\- Yeah. That would be a step. But don't make it a formal date. Try to make it look casual.

\- What do you mean by casual?

\- Josh, I'm not good at flirting and those things. But you two are friends and you work together, right? So, if you ask her out on a date out of the blue, she may find it strange.

\- You're right.

\- You could, for example, ask her to stay later and give her some work to do. When you see she is tired, ask her to join you for a drink, or to get something to eat.

\- Yeah...it would be easy.

\- Have fun together, enjoy each other's company. Don't talk about your feelings for her. Just talk about stuff, make her laugh and, in the end, you can suggest another non-formal date.

\- Like what?

\- I don't know...something fun. Movies, maybe bowling. You know her; you know what she likes to do.

\- Bowling is a good idea. Yeah...I think it could work.

\- You have to show her that you enjoy just being with her. Make her feel special, so she will realize she likes spending time with you too, outside of work.

\- And how do I make her like me?

\- She already likes you, Josh. She just has to fall in love with you.

\- You make it sound so easy.

\- It's up to you. I just think you shouldn't overly flirt with her. Women don't like that. You have to make it seem natural...glances, smiles, everything...At some point, your gazes might find each other. If you fell the moment is right, kiss her.

\- Or I can not kiss her and let her be confused with 'the moment'.

\- Yeah...but be careful. It can push her away.

\- It's a good plan. I think I'll start it this Friday. If everything goes right, we can go bowling on Saturday and I will think about something to do on Sunday. You know, I was wondering, why does love do such strange things to us?

\- What things?

\- I don't know...it makes us act like fools. My job is to formulate strategies to try to solve the biggest issues of America and even of the world. But I can't tell my assistant that I like her a little more than just being her friend.

\- I don't know, man. Anyway, I still don't understand why you'd come to me to ask for advice?

\- In a way, I knew you would tell me the right thing to do.

\- Well... I'm kind of flattered.

\- Thank you, Charlie.

**************

Thursday, 9:40 a.m.

Leo's office

After the Staff Meeting, everybody leaves Leo's office, except Josh.

Leo: - What do you want?

Josh: - Leo, I know you're against relationships between co-workers...

\- Oh, no. Do we have to talk about it right now?

\- Sorry, but I can't postpone it any longer.

\- I don't have anything against two co-workers having a relationship out of the workplace. I just don't like when they bring their problems to the workplace, and it always happens. Don't tell me you're flirting with some girl in this office.

\- I'm not flirting to any girl. I just fell in love with someone...

\- Oh, no. It's even worse than I thought. You remember the last time that happened. You and Mandy broke up and she had to resign because she couldn't stand to even look at you.

\- It won't happen this time. I wouldn't do anything to split up my friendship with this person.

\- Oh, God... tell me this girl is not Donna.

Josh turns his head down and says in a very low voice.

\- It's Donna.

\- What?

Talking louder.

\- It's Donna.

\- Are you nuts? Do you want Margaret to hear it? Okay, so it's not a surprise. I knew it would happen sooner or later. I just thought you'd never admit to in, at least until the end of this administration.

\- Why is everybody saying the same thing?

\- Does Donna feel the same?

\- I don't know yet.

\- And what are you planning to do?

\- Asking her out and making her fall in love with me.

\- Gee...it's the worst thing I have ever heard.

\- Don't worry. I have a strategy.

\- I was afraid of that.

\- I want to know if you have any objection?

\- Have you already talked to CJ about how the press would react to this?

\- She knows about the feelings, but we hadn't talked about it yet. The press can't say anything about it. I'm a single man and Donna is a single woman and we both live in a free country.

\- Says you. But they won't see it in the same way. All they will see is the Deputy Chief of Staff sleeping with his secretary. That is what we will read in the newspaper. They don't give a damn that you really love her. They are sensationalists. They just want to sell newspapers and magazines and tabloids. And we will also have to deal with the commentaries of our "friends" in Congress. Only God knows what they will say about it.

\- It can't be that bad. I can deal with it.

\- I know you can. You would buy a fight with all of them. But I'm afraid about Donna's reaction. You know her. If she feels it can jeopardize your position here or in the Democratic Party...it's possible she would resign.

\- I won't let it happens, Leo. I will talk to CJ...The last thing I want is to scare Donna. I can't lose her...

\- Okay. Back to your work now.

\- Okay. See you later.

Josh is leaving Leo's office, when Leo calls him.

\- Josh...She is a great woman. She likes you a lot. Be careful with your actions. In the end, everything will be all right, but be cautious.

\- Thank you, Leo. I knew you would understand.

\- Go.

**************

Thursday, 6:45 p.m.

Josh sees Toby leaving Roosevelt's room

Josh: - So, how did it go?

Toby: - Fine. But I still hate them.

\- Who doesn't?

\- I heard that love might be in the air.

Josh stops walking and turns to him surprised.

\- Who told you that?

\- Sam did...And CJ...And Leo a few hours ago.

Josh looks at him.

\- It wouldn't be a surprise if Donna turned to me right now and said that she already knows about everything.

\- We would never tell her...it would be much more fun if you do that by yourself.

\- Would you rather wait for me to tell her myself and act like a fool, or are you going to help me tell her first?

\- Acting like a fool suits you perfectly.

**************

Thursday, 9:35 p.m.

CJ's office

Josh: - Did you tell Toby?

CJ: - Sam did first.

\- Whom else have you told? Danny? Newsweek? New York times? The Washington Post?

\- I didn't have time yet.

\- CJ, I didn't wanted spread it. I don't know how it's going to be. Not yet.

\- But you told me and Sam and Leo and probably Charlie. You tell everything to Charlie.

\- Okay. But don't tell Carol or Margaret. If Margaret discover about it, Baghdad will know about it in a blink of an eye.

\- I won't. Are you done? I want to go home.

\- I need your help. It's about this same issue. Leo told me to talk with you before I do anything. Do you think we would have problems with the press?

\- Probably. Donna is your assistant. You're her boss. You have an important job in The White House. They will make it sound as a sexual scandal. It would be not good to us, not good to Bartlet administration and would be even worse to Donna. Can you imagine the kind of things she would have to hear?

Josh stays quiet, with his head down.

\- I know it's not fair. You really like her and she will only be dating you if she really likes you too. I know it's not your intention just sleep with her and I also know you both would be professionals and will keep it out of here (She raises her tone of voice, giving more emphasis to her words)

But they don't. They just want to sell newspapers. I hate the idea that our private lives are so interesting, as if we were movie stars.

Josh gets really upset.

\- So, I can't ask the woman I love out on a date because of them? It's totally not fair. And more, it's absurd. It's unacceptable. They don't have the right to decide who I can and whom I can not date...for God's sake! (He says it almost shouting, but he calm down a little and sits on a chair)

CJ try to calm him and offers him a glass of water. He accepts.

\- Sorry, CJ. It's just...It's not fair. It might have a solution. I didn't have problems like that while I was dating Mandy.

\- You know it was different. We were not here yet. Josh, there's a way out. But listen to me, you will have to cooperate.

\- How?

\- Let the press be the first one to know. Tell them everything they want to know...I mean, as soon as you and Donna starts a relationship. Donna has a lot of charisma. Everybody around here likes her, even the press. The problem is you. You're rude to them. They would love to destroy you.

\- You say it in a way that sounds even worse. I'm not that rude. Just snappy sometimes. But only when it's necessary. But tell me more about this strategy.

\- As soon as you and Donna get together, they will know about it in the next day. They will question both of you. Don't deny the truth. Explain to them it's just out of The White House and while you are here, you will be professionals. Make yourself clear about that. Misunderstandings would be even worse. Don't even try to be sarcastic. You remember what happened the last time you were sarcastic to the press. Even nowadays there are some people still waiting for that plan to combat inflation.

\- They didn't get it. I was being ironic.

\- Don't ever try it again. (CJ stop talking for a moment) I'm thinking about something...

\- What?

\- There's a way to make it even better. Make it sound as a fairy tale. You would become the most adorable couple of DC. When they ask if you and Donna are together, tell them how much you love her. Be sincere. They would love that. It would be in every single newspaper in the next day, but not for a long time.

\- It will make me look like a romantic guy.

\- You're Josh, it won't affect your masculinity, if it's what bothers you. Your college fans would not like the idea of seeing you with a woman. But they will like to hear how sweet you're when you're in love.

\- Am I sweet?

\- I don't think so. But it just my personal opinion. Anyway, it is really funny to see you with this face of a fool in love. (CJ laughs). It may work, Josh. You just have to make the things in the right way. But don't forgot it is not the hardest part. You still need to catch Donna's heart.

\- You saying that give me the creeps.

CJ laughs.

\- Now, the worst part depends only of you. You have to make it work out with her. After, we can discuss more about the consequences.

\- Why are you being so nice to me?

\- I don't know. It's a feeling of compassion...I hope this feeling go away soon.

\- Thanks again, CJ.

\- I like Donna. She is my friend too, Josh. If you do anything to hurt her or break her heart, you will pay me with your own blood.

\- That's even creepier. (He laughs, but turns to a serious face) I would never hurt her, CJ. I promise you that. I love her like I've never loved any woman before. She is the only one in position to break a heart. My heart.

\- It's starting to get too mellow...She won't break your heart either. She likes you too much to do it...When I was younger; I used to believe that when we love someone, this person should love us in the same way. If the person doesn't, it's not true love. If Donna doesn't loves you with the same intensity you loves her... that's not true love and you'll get over it. But if she does loves you, nothing would keep you apart. Your love will be stronger than anything.

\- CJ, you're acting strange and saying pretty weird things today. But I like that. I think I agree with this statement.

\- It's not a statement. It just a conclusion I took when I was 9 years old. It's late and I want to go home. See you tomorrow.

\- Good night.

**************

TBC

 

 

 

 


	3. Feelings 3

Author: Paula 

Synopsys: After admit he has feelings for Donna, Josh decides it's time to do something about it

Disclaimer, notes and thanks: see part 1

Lyrics from the song 'Feels like Home', written by Randy Newman

Paula

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself 

Makes me want to lose myself 

In your arms 

There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast 

Hope this feeling lasts 

The rest of my life"

 

Feelings

Part 3

Friday.

(Inside Josh's mind)

 

'It's Friday. Finally. Well, I don't know anymore. I mean, I've waited so much for today and now I have this strange feeling. I'm waiting for tonight. I made a decision and I have to keep it. But I'm afraid of chickening out. I'm nervous…and anxious…and thinking about giving up.... But I can’t. It's now or never. Now I'm thinking about Elvis. I hate that song. I'll have to do something sooner or later. If I postpone it, that would be worse. But I'm not sure if I can go through with it right now.

At least, I have a lot of work to do. I won’t have time to think about this issue anymore. The only problem is what if instead of concentrating on my work; I spend the whole day thinking about it. About Donna. About tonight. The hours are going to pass by so slowly today. It's only 7:19 a.m. and it's already driving me crazy. It will be a long day.'

***************

Friday Night, 8:22 p.m.

Josh's office

Donna comes in.

\- I'm finished with the files. Can I go now?

\- No. I still need you here. I need a memo on this. (He hands her a folder)

\- What's that?

\- A research about the increase of drug abuse in teenagers in the age between 14 -19 years old.

\- Do you really need it on a Friday night?

\- No, but I will need on Monday morning. And I know you would rather do it now than come back here in a Saturday morning.

\- But it's Friday night...

\- Do you have another date?

\- No. But I need to spend some time at home, doing nothing.

\- It's much more important. Don't you care about those children's future?

\- Yeah...but not tonight. I'm tired and there's no one out there writing a memo about that.

\- I don't need a memo with Pulitzer quality.

\- I don't care what you need or not. I care with what I need and that would be Chinese chicken and Dateline.

\- Don't be a rebel, Donna

She leaves, banging the door. Josh only smiles.

**************

Two hours later.

Josh opens the door of his office and sees Donna, with her head down on the table. Josh approaches in silence, to see if she is sleeping or not. She hears him approaching and get up quickly.

Donna: - Sorry, Josh. I'm almost done.

Josh: - Are you hungry?

\- Starving.

\- Me too. You look tired. Join me. Let's get something to eat. A drink would be good too.

\- But I haven't finished yet.

\- Save it on a disk and finish it at home.

She gives him a very upset look.

\- If I could do it at home, why did you asked me to stay?

\- If I had to stay, you could stay here a little more.

\- I hate you. Do you know that?

\- Yeah. You say it every time I ask you to stay later.

\- I need to be paid for extra hours.

\- I'll pay for your food. Let's go.

\- Let me get my stuff.

Donna collects her things and they left.

**************

Two Hours after.

Four Seasons' restaurant.

Josh: - Do you remember the first day you came to work for me?

Donna: - Of course I remember. I thought it would be the last one.

\- Because of Mandy?

\- Yeah.

-That was funny. I was explaining something to you...

\- About your files.

\- About my files. And we were pretty close to each other because of that and then she suddenly came in shouting," What the hell this woman is doing with you in your office, Joshua?"

Josh laughs.

\- Now it's funny, but that day it was not funny at all. I thought she would smack my face and break my nose. She seemed so furious.

\- And I kept saying ' It's not what you're thinking', instead of explain her you're my new assistant and I was showing to you what you'd have to do.

\- I can't believe she was jealousy of me.

\- I spend three days trying to convince her that I didn’t hire you because you were beautiful.

\- Did she thought you'd hired me because I was beautiful?

\- Yeah. (Josh realizes he went a little far in his commentary and tries to fix it up) I mean, it's not that you aren't. You're a very good-looking woman...(He slips again and gets even more nervous) I'm trying to say you are beautiful, but I didn't hire you because of that. I invited you to work with me because I noticed you're good and had a lot of potential to develop.

\- Thanks, Josh. I never thought that you hired me because of my appearance. But that explains why Mandy never liked me very much.

\- I think Mandy doesn't like anybody very much.

They both laugh. When they stop, a disturbing silence takes place. Josh looks into her eyes and she turns her eyes away. He wonders if he had gone too far with that whole conversation. They both were uncomfortable with that silence when Donna looks to her watch and breaks the silence saying,

\- It's already late.

\- Yeah. I'll ask for the bill and I take you home.

\- Thanks.

*************

In the car.

In their way to Donna's place, they keep talking about different things that were not related to Donna's appearance or Josh's deepest feelings. When they arrive in front of her building:

-Thank you, Josh. For everything. Well, except for make me work later.

\- You're welcome, Donnatella. I had a good time tonight.

\- Me too.

She starts to open the car's door, but stops when she realizes he wants to say something more, but is hesitant. He finally asks.

\- Hey, listen. I was wondering if you have anything planed for tomorrow night?

\- No. Why? (She asks afraid he might ask her to work in a Saturday night.)

\- I was thinking about do something fun this weekend. I really need some free time to have fun...Do you like bowling?

\- I love bowling. You know that. I'm not very good at, but I enjoy just playing for fun.

\- Good. So, do you want to go bowling tomorrow?

\- Yeah. It sounds fun.

\- Okay. Can I pick you at 8:00p.m?

\- Sure. Good night.

She smiles and leaves the car. He watches her go into her building and smiles to him.

\- Step one is over. Let's plan the step two.

*************

Josh spent his entire Saturday working at home. He read some memos, called Leo and Sam to discuss some issues and other things. He was trying hard to keep his mind busy, so he would not have time to be nervous about that evening. Things were going just fine, just as he had planned. He was aware it could take a lot of time before Donna would be able to respond to his feelings. But he was not worried about it. He was glad just to spend some great time with this incredible woman. Every single moment by her side was serving to assure him about his feelings toward her, to confirm how much he liked her... How much these feelings - that started with professional respect and admiration - were growing and growing inside him with time and how strong they were even now. For the first time he was not able to imagine his life without a woman. And that woman is Donna.

He always had been an independent man, with a free personality and who never needed anyone's opinion or support to do whatever he wanted to do. But then he met Donna. She quickly became everything he used to think he could live without. She always was more than an assistant was. She was able to notice when he needed her around, even when he said he didn't. He saw Donna as the most important person in his life and he never did anything to stop her. Now it was too late. He figured that if he tried to fight against it, he would only hurt himself. So, he decided to fight for it. He knew how much he needed her in his life... How much he wants Donna by his side... Now he is determined to do whatever it takes to get it.

**************

Saturday Night, 22:15p.m.

At the bowling alley

After they had played for more than an hour, they look for a table in the bar inside the bowling.

Josh: - What do you want to eat?

Donna gives him a twinkle smile.

\- I was thinking about some junk food.

He smiles back.

\- Me too. What about French fries?

\- Hum...it would be so good. A lot of them. With ketchup.

\- I don't like ketchup with French fries. Anyway, what do you want to drink?

\- Soda. There's nothing better than a lot of French fries and very cold soda.

\- Well, I disagree. I can number a thousand of things better than this, but it sounds pretty good right now. I'm hungry.

\- So am I.

Ten minutes later, the waiter brings the food.

Donna takes a single fries and ask Josh:

\- Is your butt still hurting? (She laughs out loud)

\- That was not funny. Not funny at all.

\- Well, I think everybody in this place would disagree with you.

\- These people are stupid. They laugh about everything. You're talking like I was the only person on the face of the earth who slid in a bowling alley.

Donna laughs remembering the scene. Josh was walking to the alley and turned back to Donna, mocking her because her last ball went into the gutter. He was saying he would show her how the professional players do it. When he quickly turned to throw the ball, he hadn't noticed he had passed over the borderline. He slid in the middle of the alley. Everybody in the place looked at him, laughing. He stayed there, sitting in the middle of the alley and Donna was trying to help him to get up, but she couldn't stop laughing even for a moment.

\- Sliding or not, I won. 6 strikes against 2.96 to 68. I-won (he says singsong). A runaway. (He says, mocking her)

\- That's so Joshish. 'I won, you lost' (she says, trying to imitating his voice)

\- Josh what?

\- Josh - ish. It's so typical of you.

\- I don't like this expression.

\- That's pretty Josh-ish too.

\- Stop saying that word. And stop putting ketchup over all the fries. I don't want mine with ketchup.

\- Okay. (She does her puppy face)

\- Look, I'm not mad at you. (He stops for a moment) Why I'm talking to you like you're a 5-year-old child?

\- Because tonight we are acting like children.

\- I like this feeling. But your puppy face won't affect me anymore.

She does the puppy face again.

\- And you're doing it again. I won't look at you anymore.

She keeps the puppy face and sniffs.

-Stop. (He says and laughs)

She laughs and draws a happy face on his hand with ketchup. He looks at the drawing and tries to make her lick it up. She backs up and he takes the ketchup and starts to spreading it all over her arm. She takes a bit and put it on his nose. He does the same. They are laughing and playing. After 'the ketchup war', they clean their arms and faces with napkins. Donna suggests,

\- There are some video games there. Are you read for a revenge?

\- Oh, Donnatella Moss wants revenge. Let's go and I'll show you why I used to be called the King of the Burger King.

\- King of the Burger King?

\- Yeah. That was the place where I used to play video games as a kid.

She laughs.

\- Let's play!

**************

TBC


	4. Feelings 4

Author: Paula

Synopsys: After admit he has feelings for Donna, Josh decides it's time to do something about it

Disclaimer, notes and thanks: see part 1

Lyrics from the song 'Feels like Home', written by Randy Newman

Paula

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don't be surprised if I love you for all tha you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your falt."

  


Feelings

part 4.

Sunday morning, 11:40a.m.

In front of Donna's place

 

Josh was standing in front of the Donna's building waiting for her. One of her neighbors said she might have gone to the grocery store.

He looked pretty handsome. Black pants, white shirt, and sunglasses. The memories of the previous night were floating around his mind. He was smiling just remembering the great moments they spent together. Suddenly he sees her coming down the street with three full bags in her hands. He runs to help her. Just then, he notices how beautiful she looked that morning, with her ponytail falling down her left shoulder, a long flowered summer dress, she looked very feminine.

He grins:

\- Hey, let me take some of those. (He takes two bags from her hands)

\- Hi. What are you doing here?

\- I was driving around your neighborhood and I decided to stop and say hi to you.

Donna smiles at him.

\- It's nice to see you.

She opens the front door of the building and they walk to the elevator.

\- And I also came to invite you to have lunch with me. I opened the refrigerator this morning and there was no food at all.

\- But I wrote your shopping list last Thursday. Why didn't your maid buy food?

\- She didn't come to work on Friday. I think her son was sick.

Donna opens her apartment door's .He walks after her.

\- Put the bags in the kitchen. So, if your maid or I don't buy your food, you won't do it by yourself. Would it kill you go to a market or a grocery store and buy some stuff?

\- No. I might have done it a couple of times, but it's more comfortable to go to a restaurant or call and order some Chinese.

\- Men!

\- You didn't answer my question. Would you like to go out to lunch?

\- Thanks for inviting me, Josh, but I'm making a lasagna and it's almost ready. Why don't you stay and join me?

\- You're cooking? I don't know if it's safe, but I'd love to take a risk.

\- I have to put it in the oven for 30 minutes. Would you like a glass of wine while we wait?

\- Sure. Where did you learn to cook Italian food?

\- My grandma was Italian. She taught my mom, who taught me.

\- You never told me your grandma was Italian.

\- Yes, from Sicily. Her name was Donnatella LoBianco. I was named Donnatella because of her.

\- I didn't know that. It's a beautiful name. Why don't you like it?

\- I like my name.

\- So, why do you always complain when I call you Donnatella?

\- I don't complain because you call me Donnatella. I complain because you call me that to irritate me.

\- Ah, let me see if I get it. You don't complain because I call you Donnatella. You complain of the fact that I try to irritate you. So, I irritate you trying to irritating you.

\- Yes.

\- So, I get what I want?

\- Yes. And that irritates me too.

\- Anyway, you don't look like an Italian.

\- I look more like my dad. His family is from Norway.

\- Cool. And you're the result of this mixing.

\- C'mon. Help me set the table.

\- I don't know how to do that.

\- Just bring the plates.

\- Do you know how to eat?

\- Yes, but only because it's the easiest step of the cooking process.

\- Let's eat.

**************

\- It tastes good. I like it. I could ask you to do this every week. Enough of toasted hamburgers. You will make me Italian food from now on.

\- Hey, don't you think I already do too many things at that office?

\- Okay. I'll fire you from the assistant function. You'll be my personal chef.

She laughs.

\- I think it's the first time that you've praised something I've done.

\- That's not true. That's not true at all. I'm always glad with your work. I just don't say it everyday.

She smiles.

\- Thanks.

\- Can I have more of this?

\- Sure.

(She serves him.)

*************

Josh: - So, What do you want to do now?

Donna: - I usually spend my Sunday afternoons lying on the couch and watching a couple of old movies on TV.

\- Is that fun?

\- It's relaxing. After a hard week in the work, laying on the couch and watching TV sounds like the best thing to do.

\- Okay. Let's do it. What movies do we have today?

\- Hum, let me check TV Guide. At two, we have "The Way We Were" and "Goodfellas"...

\- "Goodfellas"!

\- No. I want to see "The Way We Were".

\- Oh, please. You don't want me to sleep in your couch, do you?

\- Have you ever seen this movie?

\- Of course not. It's a chick flick.

\- You should watch it. It's a great film and the song is beautiful.

\- Oh, no. Barbara Streisand was the last thing I had planned for this Sunday afternoon.

\- Watch the movie and leave your macho commentaries for after the movie.

\- But if I fall asleep in your couch, it's your fault.

**************

Two hours later, when the movie was over, he looked at her and saw she had fallen asleep in the other corner of the couch. He just watches her sleep quietly, with a sweet smile on her lips. He wonders what she is dreaming about. He pushes away a piece of hair that has fallen across her face, and he caresses her soft and warm skin, carefully to not wake her. He backs into his corner of the couch and changes the TV channel. He starts to watch another movie, but he can barely look at TV screen. He prefers to watch her - sleeping as an angel.

An hour and a half later, she wakes up. At first, she gets scared for falling asleep. Then, she looks at Josh, who is smiling and watching her stretch.

\- Good Morning. I was wondering if you would wake up today, or if you would sleep until tomorrow.

She smiles and says very sweetly:

\- What time is it?

\- 5:30p.m. I won't mock you because you slept during the movie. It's not as bad as I thought. But that song is terrible. Completely out-of-fashion. Now I'm watching a western that is very good. But I think the movie is about over because everyone died, except the cowboy and the Indian leader.

He smiles and sees that Donna is not totally awake yet.

\- Are you hungry? What do you have in the refrigerator?

\- There is orange juice, a piece of pie and chocolate cookies.

\- Okay. Wake up. Let's eat. I'll make me some coffee. Would you prefer my special super hot cappuccino or your orange juice?

\- Juice. The last time, your special super hot cappuccino burned my tongue.

\- Okay. Apple pie?

\- Pineapple pie. Do you like?

\- I've never eaten pineapple pie. It must be good.

\- It is. I made it by myself.

\- Where did you find pineapples in DC?

\- In the supermarket. If you go there, you will see it.

**************

Josh: - Today, we ate, we watched movies-well, you slept-and then we ate again. What we going to do next?

Donna: - We could go for a walk.

\- Where?

\- I don't know...Lincoln Park?

\- Okay.

**************

Sunday Evening, 6:54p.m.

Lincoln park

Donna: - Every Sunday was the same thing. We used to go to the church in the morning. In the evenings, we used to go for a walk in the neighborhood. Me, my mother, my father and Samantha. Sometimes, I'd go back home on the holidays; we still go for a walk. But I miss the old time. It was like a family reunion, we used to talk about what happened during the week and our plans to the next one. It was great.

Josh: - Once you told me you used to sing in your church's choir.

\- Yeah. I loved it. My sister, Samantha, she never liked it. But it was really cool. Did you have a Bar Mitzvah?

\- Of course I did. I was forced too.

\- I always wanted to go to a Bar Mitzvah.

\- It's dull. Very, very boring. The only good thing about it was the food. There was a lot of food. In every Jewish celebration there is a lot of food.

They walk in silence for a while.

-Donna, I need to tell you something. I can keep it quiet anymore. I feel like I'm lying to you. I don't know how you will react to this and that's what is frightening me the most.I just want to assure you that nothing needs to change between us and I really don't mean to scare you. I don't want to lose what we have now, you're my best friend and I don't want to screw that up. But I have to take the risk because I can't hide it from you anymore.

-Josh, you're already scaring me.Please, tell me what it is. Are you firing me?

-No.Of course not.It's just that I...I think that I like you more than I used to. Well, it's expected because I know you more and what I'm trying to say is that I like you more than I should...I mean, as a boss or a friend. That's understandable because you're a great person and you are an important part of my life. Let me try it again, I have a sort of feeling for you that I never had before.Those feelings have been growing inside me during these past few years and they are pretty strong at this moment and...

-Josh, can you be a bit more eloquent?

He swallows hard and then looks into her eyes.

-Donna, I'm in love with you.

She is speechless for a few moments. She can't discern what is going through her head at this very moment. She tries to think of something to say, but all that comes out of her mouth is,

-Oh, God...

Josh gets even more nervous by her reaction. He starts to wonder if it was the right moment or if he should have waited longer. He tries to apologize.

-I...I don't want to scare you.

-I'm not scared...just surprised. I didn't expect that.

-Please, just don't hate me for what I said.It was something that was out of my control.

-I won't, Josh. Actually, I need to tell you something... Remember when I told you I would never go out with Rick again?

-Yes.

She smiles timidly

-You never asked why.

-Well, why you don't have plans to see him again?

-That Friday, we went out to dinner and we had a great time...

Josh interrupts her

-Oh, God. Are you still dating him?

-No. Please let me finish.( She gestures nervously while talking) When he took me home, he tried to kiss me and I turned my face. He said he liked me a lot and asked when we could see each other again. I said it would be better if we didn't go out on a date again and we stayed friends, because I was in love with another guy.

Josh freezes.

-Oh, boy, there's another guy...

-Let me finish before you say something, okay? Anyway, Rick called me last Saturday... yesterday...and asked if we could go out to dinner or something.( She talks very slowly ) I told him I couldn't because I've already had plans for that night. He asked if I was going out with the guy I was in love with and I told him...yes.

-But last night you went out with...Oh, are you trying to tell me that you...

-Yeah, Josh....I have feelings for you too.

Josh smiles. They just stare into each other's eyes. Donna feels Josh getting closer and she closes her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of his lips touching hers.The kiss starts soft and tender, but then it turns to a passionate kiss that lasts for a few minutes. After the kiss, they open their eyes and their gazes meet. She smiles at him.

-Josh, I believe this will change everything.

-Me too. But this idea doesn't scare me anymore. Things will be so much better from now on.

He smiles and embraces her. She puts her head on his chest. He buries his face in her hair and kisses her forehead. He whispers in her ear,

\- You're the best thing that 's ever happened to me. And I love you for that.

\- I love you too, Josh.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*The End *~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
